Two Sundays ago I got up, moved all the furniture and boxes from my office into the dining room, and proceeded to tear apart my room. Baseboards, carpet, carpet pad were all removed, then the dreaded carpet tack and work with a scraper to get up the glue. Tonight I get to start moving things back in, thanks to my wonderful husband, who is spending some of his day off applying the second coat of paint to the baseboards and door trim.
For those people familiar with my office previously, (aka Lila's room, aka Alison's room), the look is quite different. The walls are a slight shade darker green (not really noticeable, but necessary after an incident with inexact paint matching for touch-up). More noticeable is the ivory and rust ivy that I stenciled across the top of the wall, and in two corners, so it looks like it is growing up the wall.
The closet was gutted, and painted to match the room, as well, though it's reconstruction to include built in shelves is a later project, and not part of the main room renovation.
Out is the spotted beige carpet and 70's brown baseboards and door trim, and in is crisp white trim that matches the style we installed in the other rooms and engineered bamboo flooring. The floor isn't the same tan color in the master bedroom and living room (Toast), but a reddish color called Honey. [This along with the Cherry Tart and Sage paint in my master bedroom and master bath, respectively, makes my house sound positively delicious].
I got rid of some of the furniture, and many of the books that inhabited the room, previously, and like the closet shelves, replacing furniture is something that is on hold for a while. Things that are on my wish list, Fuji style futon (the company's name eludes me currently...), new file cabinet (or something in the closet to replace this function), a small carpet or plastic floor mat for under my chair, new light fixture that will work with the compact fluorescent bulbs. The end-table that's loitering in my dining room and the clarinet lamp my mom made are being hijacked for use in the room.
The first (and most important) thing I am moving in is my desk and computer. I'm moving it to the outside corner, and will probably use the wireless network on my computer until I get the futon, the prevent the network cable from cutting an ugly line (and trip hazard) across the floor. The other furniture pieces will go in, but I really want to go through any contents in the drawers as I move, as part of my purging process. And the boxes - for now they will probably be put in the empty closet, or along the wall where the futon will go, until I have shelves upon which I can unload them. But I know there are items in the boxes that I am willing to get rid of, if I only take the time to evaluate the items as I unpack them.
So my office, the work in progress, is still in progress -but moving further to the path of "done" each day.
Once again, I wrote something, and neglicted to post it. I wrote this entry 6 weeks ago.
While on vacation in Chicago at the beginning of this month, I finished reading Apartment Therapy. I will probably not do the entire eight week remedy, but I will be picking-and-choosing some of the recommendations for my home. I was
surprised by how much jived with things I was already doing / wanted to be doing. Before I had read about the “outbox” I was already setting aside items to get rid of – and some of them were placed in a “maybe” pile; but it was nice to see what a professional has to say – that such a place helps free you from lingering attachment. And I know I have a lot of attachment to things that I don’t really use / necessarily want to keep.
Other things, like determining to make your bed every morning, and to have all dishes washed and away by the end of the day, or buying fresh flowers each week, are small changes that I implemented (or tried to) right away.
This weekend I decided to tackle my kitchen, and instead of a quick-fix, I am giving myself the week to sort through, and figure things out, based on suggestions from week 2 in the book. I have reorganized my pantry, and purged 2 shelves of out-of-date foods, and things I know I will never use. I still have 2 shelves and the basket storage on the floor to sort through, but I can’t tell you how much better I feel for getting rid of a full trash bag of unused/unusable food. And since I am baking a lot more frequently now (in preparation/ practice for my goal of opening a vegan bakery), I reorganized so that all my baking supplies are together on one shelf, instead of scattered in 4 or 5 spots on three shelves. And the top shelf, one where I recently gained some space by getting rid of the fondue set I have used exactly twice since I got it 12 years ago, I will be using to organize some of the cake decorating materials, and other baking related, non-food items.
The friend who lent me the book has offered to let me keep it for a while (she has another copy, and gave me her lending copy), and I think that having it on hand, and tackling different rooms in the house, even if I don’t go in order, or complete all the prescribed tasks, will be beneficial to the health of my home in the long run.
Okay, so a few weeks ago I wrote an update for Confessions of a Clutter Queen, and in grand Clutter Queen fashion, I misplaced the notebook in which I had written the entry before I had a chance to type it in.
I am swimming in papers and notebooks, and the current state of my office does not lend itself to finding things easily, but more on that in a minute.
I think I can recall the main points of my earlier/missing post, and decided to touch briefly on them here, and provide updates on some of the mini-projects.
Apartment Therapy - my friend Allyson lent me a copy of Apartment Therapy by Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan, once she heard I was interested in tackling my clutter conundrum. She said that even though I have a house, and not an apartment, some of the principles may be of use to me. I have, since, finished reading it, and will talk more about it later.
Literary Purge (or, oh my God, Christy, what have you done with your books?) - I love books. Heck, I went back to school to become a Librarian, and am the kind of girl who will resolve misplaced books on the shelves of a store where I am shopping. The problem is I own too many books. I have books I have never read, and realistically never will. I have books I read and loved, but won't probably won't re-read. And so I set out to evaluate which books I want to keep on my new (reduced) shelf space, and what I can live without. This weekend I took 4 paper-boxes of books to donate at our local Friends of the Library. I have another 2 boxes of books I have identified as “Maybes,” which I will re-examine before blindly reshelving them, and a number of boxes of books that are being reshelved. To be fair, I did not evaluate my collection of writing books, or manga (these come later), but I did wander over to the bookcase Toby and I share for “classics” and “general fiction,” and weeded my theater books that lived there, as well as the other two categories.
I did add a little to my task by making sure that each book I was getting rid of was on the spreadsheet of “books we own,” (if it wasn’t I added it), and I added a column for “getting rid of,” and marked the books that went into those boxes. I know this was probably unnecessary, but it was a step I needed to feel confident in letting go of those scores of books. If I ever decide it was all a mistake, at least I’ll have a list of books that I can check out from the library, or try to find a copy of again.
Office Transformation – We are re-flooring the carpeted areas of our house, one room at a time. My office is the last room. We’ve just got a few small finishing touches on the room before, and I’m looking ahead to my space. But I have too much clutter to realistically move everything out for the install. And this, my friends, is how I came to the conclusion I am a Clutter Queen. As I mentioned in the Literary Purge, I have reduced the number of books that will be going back in. We will be installing built in shelves in the closet, so I removed two bookcases, and the bedroom armoire (which is where I had squirreled away my manga and journals), packing contents into boxes as I went. We also identified two bookcases from my husband’s office, and the two matching pieces of bedroom furniture from our bedroom, where it still resided. Yesterday the fine folks from our local Children’s Home Society came and picked up the furniture, our artificial Christmas tree, and the clothes rack that was convenient when ironing, but in the way every other minute of the day.
I have shoved the boxes and remaining furniture into the center of my office (hence the inability to find things readily), and have painted the closet (green to match the room) the walls (the shade darker green that matches the closet and the touch-ups I did. Ran into a snafu with matching the original paint color, let’s leave it at that), and have gotten about 3/4ths of the way done with the stencil work I wanted to do. I hope to have everything back along the walls by this weekend, I’ve got an online workshop on Saturday, so my desk at least has to be in a workable location, and then I’ll resume the “going through the clutter” process on the things that haven’t made it into boxes yet.
And that is my not so brief update. I don’t mind the length, though, because it means that I’m actually getting things done.
I'm the kind of person who is loath to get rid of anything that is useful.
I'm also the kind of person for whom "useful" is a broad definition that can be applied to just about anything.
And then I'm the girl who wants to find the most responsible way to dispose of things when I finally do convince myself to let go. Recycling, selling or donating are my preferred methods of disposal, though I never seem to have enough time to really pursue any of these to the extent I want.
So I hold on to stuff - even stuff I have already decided to get rid of, and then the piles of junk grow.
And it's not just physical items I cling to, waiting for a chance to sort through, or that I have identified for a greater fate. I hoard project ideas, goals, stories I want to finish writing, e-mails I want to go through to look for tiny tidbits that might be important, or that I might miss and never know it if I delete them.
And I get frustrated with myself, with the stacks and stacks of books that I will realistically never read, with the bags of papers that I want desperately to go through to pull out important ideas or thoughts - or doodles that I feel I should preserve.
Even if I make steps to organize things (sort features in e-mail, excel lists of my books) I have come to realize that I just have too much stuff. Too many goals. I'm hoarding ideas and desires, and by having so much clutter in my life - as useful as any individual item or bit of information may seem - that I have ground myself to a halt. I feel buried under my clutter - both physical and intellectual, and it tugs at me, preventing me from any forward progress.
I make lists of things to do (resolving intellectual clutter as well as setting goals to clean up my physical space), but I just add these lists into my pile of stuff, and I only make marginal impact on the Great Clean-Up before I begin to feel overwhelmed and useless. And a familiar thought creeps in "I've gotten by so far, so why should I bother to change?" and that's dangerous.
I'm not sure what my goal is with this series of posts. Guilting myself into forward progress by reporting back. Tracking things as I try to make a real change in my self and my perceptions. Or tracking my trials so others can see what works (and doesn't) for a Clutter Queen who is finally ready (I hope) to give up my crown.
As long as I can recycle it.
*NOTE: I considered starting a new blog for these posts (oh the irony of adding to the "E-me" clutter...) but the name was already taken. Fate stepping in perhaps, to help with that first step - to curb the addition of another extraneous blog when I already have 7 blogs, 2 more blogs I (supposedly) maintain for groups, Facebook and Myspace pages, 2 twitter accounts, and a personal website. Yeah.
I think a lot of people look at the new year as a chance to start over, to look at perceived failures or self let-downs from the previous year. And then, as the month marches on, and good intentions fall to the side and old habits creep back in, people either feel down for failing yet again, or resigned to their fate.
I don't really set resolutions any more, I try to face the new year with respect and my own rituals – hanging out with friends the night before (sometimes watching the ball drop) and then getting up to watch the sunrise.
Still, as the end of January rolls around, I start to get melancholy – a trend I am just realizing/ acknowledging this year. My birthday is my own personal walk of shame, and as it draws closer I look at what I have accomplished, or more accurately, failed to accomplish, in the past year. What bar I want to exceed as I prepare to step into the next year of my life.
Several times this week I have found myself feeling down, even as I try to think of what I want to accomplish, how I want to 'improve' myself in my personal new year. I felt down enough that I ran away from responsibilities I set for myself to hide in a book (well, several books). Down enough that I seriously considered not going in to work so I could try to work through my mood. I spiral into not wanting to do anything productive because I feel so badly for not getting anything productive done.
I got some inspiration in two sentiments from Mur Lafferty's I Should Be Writing episode #177 about focusing on the positive, and using the time you have, however much it is, to do the work, instead of whining about not having done it already. In her own words:
"when you stop focusing on all the negative stuff and you start focusing on the positive then you feel good, you feel energetic, and you feel like you can do the work." Mighty Mur Lafferty – I Should Be Writing episode #177 "Here's a little challenge for you: The next time you start thinking something negative, and whether that's negative like 'Oh, I didn't write today, I suck' or 'Oh, I'm too tired to write, I can't believe I worked so hard, I can't write today', Stop, right there and think 'How much energy am I expending to whine and fret about this, either out loud or in my head' and then think 'how many words could I write using that energy I'm using to whine?' Because really, that's what it is, whining." Mighty Mur Lafferty – I Should Be Writing episode #177 Mur also spoke about New Years, and how for many it is a time to look back on the failures of the year before, and set oneself up for failure again. And that's kind of what I've been feeling lately. After last year's performance evaluation at work, when I found it hard to report what I had accomplished, because I was dwelling on what I hadn't done, or still had in the works, I decided to start keeping a list of all the things I did, broken down by month. And I realized that by looking at what I have accomplished, rather than what I haven't, I may begin to be a little less disparaging of myself overall, and hone in on what is possible. So I decided to try to focus on the good things – the things I did accomplish while I was 33, rather than allowing myself to wallow in my perceived failings. So, here goes: GENERAL/BIG- Set and kept the goal of going vegetarian for a month (Jan 2010)
- On my 33rd birthday set a 2 year goal – work towards being prepared to make a decision on my 35th birthday as to whether to go ahead and pursue my plans to open a bakery, or to drop them
WRITING- Wrote 50,000 words towards a new novel during NaNo WriMo
- Acted as co-ML for NaNo WriMo Gainesville, FL region
- Participated in Gainesville Fiction Writers, keeping rooms scheduled, and workshops planned, and helped keep the group going
- Submitted a short story to The First Line
- Worked on last year's NaNo WriMo Novel
BAKERY- Signed up for the Entrepreneurship and Small Business Management certificate program at Santa Fe college, and completed 4 of the 6 courses with A's. Started the final 2 courses (currently attending)
- Contacted and arranged meetings with and spoke with 2 bakery owners in Tallahassee
- Signed up for the Daring Baker challenge
- Baked, on my own and with friends, posted about many of them on my blog, and generally worked on my vegan baking
- Veganized my mom's holiday fruit bar recipe
WORK- Hired and trained 3 new student assistants at work
- Helped create a poster that was presented at a national conference
- Signed up to be part of a national level pre-conference this year
- Drew up floor plans to facilitate our move to a temporary space, and back to a rearranged/ remodeled space
OTHER- Traveled to Turkey for a little over a week in June 2010
- Visited local places with family and friends to try to enjoy Florida/ Gainesville more
- Began the process of organizing my digital photos, naming faces and events in iPhoto
- Went to the gym many weeks, even after my gym buddy left
- Helped finish remodel our master bathroom
- Helped lay wood floor in Toby's office
- Took a road trip to Virginia with friends, met Mur Lafferty on the way
- We refinanced our mortgage
- I read a lot of good books
I have started the big Spring Cleaning, but found myself stalled. My idea was to tackle one room a weekend, clean it from top to bottom and remove anything that didn't "live" in the room. One of the goals in splitting up the rooms was to prevent myself from becoming overwhelmed, another was that if I could get things that didn't belong out of the room, then I had a simple task of maintaining the tidiness - at the end of the day move anything that had accumulated in a room where it should be into the room where it lives.
So far it has worked pretty well, and Toby is on board with helping keep the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, not the sink, or moving things back to the room where they belong. I expect, as we go, we'll discover more items we don't really need, and will end up making runs to second-hand shops to make donations.
I managed to get the living room clean, and did a deep clean of the breakfast nook area, including the bottom level (read floor) of the pantry). The same weekend I cleaned the nook, I removed extraneous things from the kitchen and dining room, as we were hosting a birthday party that night. I still have to do the deep clean of the kitchen (and pantry and fridge, which will each probably warrant their own day) and the dining room. We've already started to keep them tidy by moving items out at the end of each day, and I am sad to say that I am simply not feeling the cleaning bug anymore. I almost feel like "why should I deep clean when I already tided and mopped in here - that's good enough, right?".
And I found an unfortunate side effect of my cleaning - a lot of things that don't have a place have found their sanctuary in my office. The result is that I feel less and less like going in my office - and less and less like siting down to do any creative work. I'm not sure if I'm just clinging on to it as an excuse to not work, but I found this weekend, and many weeknights, I am killing time watching TV on DVD, and not cleaning OR writing.
I guess this is an account of how my cleaning has stalled, and also a reminder to myself that no one is making me do either the cleaning or writing, and perhaps I should reevaluate what is important to me. And I realize this post is a bit rambly, but this is what is on my mind.
| Date: | 2010-01-26 18:26 |
| Subject: | A Good Sunday |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  productive |
Sunday was a pretty good day. There was a bit of a struggle with the alarm clock, but that mostly came about due to being so comfortable in bed, with such a cute cat insisting we stay abed. We fought of temptation, and headed (admittedly a bit later than we intended) to meet Anne and Nicki for breakfast at the 43rd Street Deli. Anne and I both had tea, and shared the extra teapot of hot water, adding our tea bags to it to let it steep while we drank our first cup of the day. I may have been more awake for breakfast if I'd had tea when I first got up, but what they provided eventually set to revive me. I had a single Vegan Banana Pancake and a side of grits. Even one pancake was too much to finish – the size of a dinner plate, truly. But it was very yummy.
From breakfast, we headed over to the Santa Fe Teaching Zoo. A tour had just started, and we were able to join them pretty quickly. It was neat to see this 10 acres of wildlife, a completely student run facility. We saw a nesting pair of bald eagles, various other birds and turtles /tortoises, monkeys and apes, antelope and a Japanese deer. There was even this creature called a tree kangaroo, which we discovered that despite being great climbers, are actually related to the kangaroo.
Link to some pictures can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/weylyn42/sets/72157623166547183/
When the tour ended, a little over an hour later, we headed our separate ways. I managed to be pretty productive around the house, including cleaning the master bedroom and getting most of the extraneous stuff off the diner table. I also tidied the kitchen, and pulling out my new "The Joy of Vegan Baking" made some very yummy Oatmeal Raspberry Bars.
I played some video games, mostly some of the new games in Wii Fit Plus, but also some archery in Wii Sports Resort. I spent some time in my office (tidied last week) and settled in to do my weekly reading for "The Artist's Way."
While we were home we opened several windows, much to the delight of my cats, but it also lent a nice feel to the house. We met a cadre of friends at Piesano's for an early-ish dinner, then headed home. I settled in to meet my online writing buddy, and we spent over an hour chatting, catching up, and making a new plan for when we are meeting in light of shifting responsibilities now that she's a mom.
I got some laundry done, and some leisure reading, too. It was a very relaxing day, and I enjoyed it very much. Here is to hoping that everyone else had a nice weekend, too.
This past November I once again participated in NaNo WriMo. I got 51,075 words towards my novel, Foxglove and Queen Anne's Lace. The challenges I set for myself with this story were to write a story from the first person point of view, and, more casually, to write a young adult story. I am doing okay with the first, and as for YA writing, I know I'll have to finish my first draft, then learn the conventions of the age group, and determine if I want to abide by them, or to drop that goal.
Well, without the pressure of November's deadline, progress on my story has slowed down greatly. Part of this (well, most of it) is due to not holding to a strict writing schedule. Part of it, though, is the point where I am in the plot. My character is going to face a traumatic experience from her past that is tied to a person - the "villain" of the story. I haven't decided yet whether he is going to make a physical appearance, if he is going to try to contact her by letter / phone, or if some other trigger event causes her to have to face the event she has been suppressing for nigh on 10 years.
When I was creating the villain character I knew what he did to my main character, knew she suppressed it, and I even did my research on pedophiles, so I could make him a realistic character, not just a generic bad guy. Knowing how your bad guy operates, thinks, feels is important - why he does what he does.
In trying decide what direction to take to lead my main character to facing her childhood trauma, I was thinking of reasons my villain would meet her, or try to contact her. My first thought was that he was trying to redeem himself - he was in some sort of recovery program, and was working past his own troubles. I thought of an accidental meeting, but given my story setting, that isn't very plausible. I though he was suffering his own tragedy, and was reaching out to someone close to my main character for comfort, and that is how they come in contact with each other.
I know, as a writer, that my villain is human, but I feel I am trying too hard to redeem him. This is not his story. I don't know if he is redeemable. In talking with my writer's group they brought up the fine point that I am writing this story in first person, and that whether or not he is worth saving is really the call for my main character. She has her own reasons to want to see him redeemed, perhaps, that get thrown into sharp contrast when she is forced to finally face the memories of what happened and what almost happened.
The truth is, my villain, as I originally conceived of him, in context of my main character's past, is vile and makes me uncomfortable. I can't help but shake the feeling that my desperate need for him to achieve some level of redemption is so that I haven't created such a monster, that I don't have to face just how bad he is.
I know there are a lot of questions about my villain that I'll need to work out before the final draft, - research into laws and punishments, rehabilitation programs, (if any exist), but I know I need to push through this draft, finish it, and make edits later. If I research now, I know the chances of my finishing the critical first draft will greatly decrease - more so than the 2 and a half weeks of not writing I already have behind me will. So I'm going to sleep on it, then press on - on to the scene where my character faces her past, and see how she handles it, and if she finds my villain worthy of redemption, or if, in the end, just thinking of him makes me squirm.
Okay, I know the winter vacation is only half done, but I felt an update was due. We had a friend Christmas on Tuesday the 22nd, and I got this really awesome hat from Allyson and Rusty, hand knitted, which I have used to keep me warm on the surprisingly windy, chilly days down here in Jupiter.
Wednesday I worked a half day, and was home the other half for the delivery of mine and Toby's Christmas gift for ourselves/each other. A new refrigerator. Yay. The one of the guys who came to install it even tightened the shut-off valve Toby had installed the night before, to prevent it from possibly leaking.
I worked on Christmas Eve, though it was only Delonda (the OPS worker) and myself in the office. Anybody who had authority to tell us to go home early was not at work, so we diligently stayed in the quiet, locked office all day. I did take a break to get hot chocolate and breakfast snacks in the morning for both me and Delonda, as Starbucks in West was still open, and unsurprisingly, not very busy. Both of us had someone we rode home with that was also staying until 5 pm, but let me tell you, that did not make the day go by any quicker.
We went over to Anne and Nicki's Christmas Eve, with hard-won food. We tried three different places, just missing the closing time by 5 minutes in one case, trying to secure dinner. We ended up with food from China 88. Yeah. We exchanged gifts, gave Anne presents for my parents and my brother, sister-in-law and their kids to take up to my parent's place - because I figure that they will see Dave and Marina before we will, honestly. We watched most of "A Night at the Museum," went home and caught the beginning half hour of the encore presentation, then packed until we caught up to the final 15 minutes which we had missed.
Christmas day we woke up early. Really early, and were on the road by a little after 6 am. We arrived at Jupiter around 10:30, and after getting some tea, I set to helping my mother-in-law do last minute wrapping of gifts. I left the room a few times to allow her to covertly slip my gifts into gift bags, the wrapping of choice. We had a few false starts, and also ran out of bags, so the last few things were wrapped with paper, though we had to use medical tape as nary a roll of scotch tape could be found.
Saturday we visited Toby's older brother, Steve in Fort Lauderdale. We went out with Steve and his girlfriend, Chrissy, on their boat. We saw the largest cruise ship in the world, and lots of freight ships, then headed back in town to eat lunch at Briny's Pub. It was kind of surreal to park the boat, then head into the restaurant like heading in from a parked car. We went up several of the little rivers and causeways before heading back to their apartment. We met up with Karen and her co-worker Ken for dinner at Rainforest Cafe, and a little time at the Books-a-Million.
Stayed the night at Steve and Chrissy's, and she made an awesome Sunday breakfast for us, before we headed up to hang out at Toby's younger brother's place for the Dolphin's game. The game was shut off by second quarter, and Inglorious Bastards queued up. I wasn't interested in either the game or the movie, so I read. I finished Wicked, and started on An Assembly Such as This. We went with Ryan's in-laws and Toby's parents to Chili's for dinner, the headed back to Toby's parent's place.
Monday we went to the mall to replace the broken indoor helicopter toy Ryan had gotten us for Christmas, along with the warranty. Thank goodness for the warranty - both our copter and the one he gave Uncle Ross broke on Christmas day - one from a bad run-in with a cabinet, one from bouncing off a wall rather violently and landing in the drink (i.e. open topped fish tank). We met up with a couple of Toby's friends from High School, Stefani and TJ, and had a great evening at the Jupiter Ale House.
There has been time for reading, (I finished An Assembly Such as This, and have moved on to Duty and Desire, bought on Monday's outing), interesting TV programs and movies in the background, mostly, and for me, lots of poor decisions about food - lots of fried foods and lots of desserts. Oh, and a very loving long-haired partial Siamese cat who is quite partial to my lap, even when I don't technically have one. And that has been my winter break thus-far.
When we were kids, Christmas was always a time for excitement. Decorating the tree together, taking turns selecting ornaments from the box and decking the bottom layer with the little plastic apple ornaments and bells - the former out of tradition, the later to dissuade people from checking gifts before the big day. There was the slow trickle of gifts building up under the tree: from each other, from friends and finally, on the big day, from Santa. The lights on the tree would be turned on every evening, and we had to remember to unplug them before we went to bed.We would sing carols the night before, and it was always so hard to get to sleep. We'd wake up early, and tip-toe down the stairs - I was always careful to avert my gaze away from the Family Room, at the bottom of the stairs, so I didn't see any of the gifts Santa left before hand. Well, I did sneak a small peak. We'd wait in the Living Room, turn on some cartoon, and take out any toys that were underneath our full stockings. Mom told me later that the stockings were there to keep us entertained until she and Dad got up, but for us, opening stockings was another family event.
Once everyone was awake, the stockings were gone through and breakfast consumed, we would make our way to the Family Room where the tree, and all it's glorious presents, awaited. Someone, usually me or my sister, would pass out presents until everyone had something to open, and then we'd rip off the paper, and shriek and giggle and show off what we'd opened, then the next round began. As mine and my siblings gifts piled up next to us, it seemed sad that my parents got fewer presents. That mom was going "ooh, thank you" over a pair of leather gloves for driving on cold mornings. That dad went "Wow" over a hard-cover book.
The excitement over the holiday changed as I got to college, but I still decorated my room with my roommate(s), and one year I had to ask my dad for more money because I had gone over my semester's budget - the culprit, buying Christmas gifts for my friends (well, and poor money management skills, but we won't go into that here.)
Time has continued to march past and we have gone from live trees, to no tree, to finally caving and getting an artificial tree that we sometimes put up, and this year, haven't even decorated. Because we spend the holiday with either my family or my husbands it seems kind of silly to drag out the box of decorations, go through the pain of putting together our 4" artificial tree (literally - those brush-like branches are prickly!), and then keeping the cats from trying to eat said tree.
This year when people asked us what we want for Christmas, we said "nothing" and honestly meant it. Sure, there are things we want, and I've added items to my Amazon wish list - but nothing that I REALLY want, with that overwhelming desire that seems to be reserved for children. Nothing that I would be disappointed to not see under the tree on Christmas morning. Nothing that I know, just KNOW would make me happy, and I promise I'll use it, and I just gotta have one. And I finally get when my family and friends have said in the past "Don't get me anything." Until now their request was part of their budget constraint - they can't afford to do friend gifts, and don't want gifts in return. But my hubby and I love getting gifts for other people, so we'd ignore the protests of friends, of my brother and sister-in-law, and get them something small. Or better yet, a gift card- reasoning that it is not a *thing* per se, but money they can spend how they want.
In years past we've defaulted to asking for gift cards - there would be big-ticket items we knew we wanted (a TV from Best Buy; improvements we wanted to make to the house, but had to wait until we could afford), but we've had requests from families about ITEMS they could get us, since they feel weird showing up on Christmas morning with just a card. But this year, really, there just isn't anything.Well, not anything exciting, anyway. I asked my parents for a blender. Not the sexiest of gifts, I know, but our current blender still sees use even though it leaks from a crack in the bottom of the pitcher. The only other thing I really wanted was new bathmats - the old ones were wedding gifts and ten years of use has worn them out, but I didn't ask for those. I know I'll get them eventually, but the house will still run without them. So I finally get the "I don't want anything" mentality, because I'm feeling it this year. Our house is overflowing with stuff I don't need or use, that I dread going through, and sometimes I feel a little too materialistic, and I've come to terms with cutting down - but it hard to do when the spirit of giving is upon us.
And this year our tree stands on our table, bare of lights and decorations because we ended up spraying it with an animal replant called "Boundary" which I discovered must be reapplied every 24 hours, and I didn't want to spray the ornaments. But then we got lazy about spraying the tree (besides the spray smells enough to deter ME from getting too close) and I tossed a spare sheet over the tree to keep Abi from trying to eat the fake branches. I was overwhelmed as chair of our Holiday Party Planning Committee at work, and have pushed aside holiday responsibilities at home. For Christmas, Toby and I are getting ourselves a refrigerator. We were going to get something small to exchange on Christmas day, but I completely drew a blank on what to get him when I went to the mall this past Sunday. I had an idea that I could order on line, but somehow the month had slipped past me and any chance of it arriving before Christmas expired about 2 weeks ago.
I think that, perhaps in the 30 years I've understood the holiday, this is the most un-Christmasy Christmas season ever. And Toby has felt it too. And a few of my friends have also discussed how it doesn't feel like Christmas. Doesn't feel like holidays at all, except for the abundance of cookies and candy at the office (though noticeably less abundant than previous years). And we are wondering what we can do to bring excitement back to Christmas. I knowing we can't match the school-free days of build-up, even vicariously through children, as the only kids we know are my niece and nephews - one too young to understand the holidays, and all in distant cities. And heck, most of us still have to work Christmas-eve.
So next year we're going to try to tackle Christmas and make it feel like the season again. This year we're having a small, last-minute get together tonight to exchange gifts with friends, and then drive the 4 1/2 hours to South Florida on Christmas day, wondering what my in-laws will have gotten us when we asked for so little.
But next year, ah next year, I've already got ideas that I hope will help rekindle some of that excitement that I always associated with Christmas, and not just the "*shrug* it's another day" feeling that has underwhelmed me this year. - Decorate the house the weekend after Thanksgiving. Even if we don't put up the tree, hang decorations and lights around the house to make it feel more festive.
- Stay at home for Christmas - don't make it a time to drive across the state, but enjoy being at home for at least one holiday. (Suggested to us by my boss's mother)
- Perhaps go on a Christmas trip- instead of visiting family on Christmas week - visit them sooner, then go on a trip for us, or with friends, to do something fun.Someplace that gets snow, perhaps?
- Respect others (and our own) wish for no friends-gifts (though I am quite envious of my friends who have crafty sides and are making gifts for other this year) - do a secret Santa or a gift-swap with friends - that way everyone only has to buy one small gift, and no one feels left out or awkward.
- Send Christmas cards - I have never really done this. I can't help but think that sending out seasonal holiday cheer to others will help us in realizing when Christmas is just around the corner.
- Plan a dinner in advance - a friends dinner with potluck meal, and a chance to just enjoy each others company before everyone goes their respective ways for Christmas proper. We could do the Secret Santa or gift-swap this day- and maybe even make cookies, or a gingerbread house or something.
Well, that's all I've got for now, but I've got almost 11 months to come up with more ideas and hopefully to begin to implement them, because while Christmas beginning Thanksgiving day and Halloween decorations being supplanted by Christmas stuff before the 31st of October annoy me, perhaps I can, with a little advance planning, that rediscover the excitement of Christmas.
| Date: | 2009-12-20 08:59 |
| Subject: | Goals |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  hopeful |
I have big plans.
It seems I always have big plans. It seems that every time I sit down to do something, there are half a dozen other things that are flitting around the back of my mind that I am not doing. But that I want to be doing. Or I think I SHOULD be doing. I'm trying to find a healthy way to let that go.
I've been in a half-bad mood for a little while now, and I know a lot of it stems from feeling like I'm not getting everything I want accomplished.
Even though I have no clear goals of what I want to get done, just vague ideas.
I would say I have no list of things to cross off, but of course that is a lie. There is always a list - anyone who knows me knows there must be a list. But I have no complete list of everything, so, with things that don't make it on the list (or in the inbox for sorting, as I'm trying for a second time to get started the Getting Things Done method), there are always the vague things that I want to do / think I should be doing that live and dance in the back of my mind, distracting me a little from whatever it is that I am doing (or trying to do).
I think part of the hardest part for me are the tasks that take time to accomplish. That require me setting aside time and chipping away little by little, because invariably, I find something that I can complete in that set-aside time and do that instead. Or I've put off doing this because there is no specific time that it needs to be accomplished - and I usurp my energy to something that has a more solid deadline. Or I dread even getting started because I know that when I get done with one session, there is so much stuff to do it won't even feel like I've made a dent. Or something comes up with my family or friends, and I opt to set aside the sorting of digital photos, for instance, to hang out in a last-minute "let's get together" moment.
I wonder (and this is the first time I've thought of it, so you get the benefit of seeing my thought process here, because normally I don't even try to think about the big goals I have for fear of being overwhelmed) if perhaps I should look at those big tasks, and set myself a goal a month. Or a two month goal, if the project is big. And then during that month (or two) I will set aside time to chip away at those big, looming goals, and either knock them off my list, or at least take a big chunk out of them.
If that is the case, then in December I will work to finish my NaNo WriMo novel, then start in with the other big projects in January (though I'm thinking perhaps I should have 1 writing goal, and one non-writing goal, because I should never stop thinking about writing - nor do I want to).
So, a brief list of non-writing goals that have been nagging at me (listed here so I can come back and divvy them up over 2010)
- identify/ name/ organize all our digital photos- deleting duplicates
- finding a program, and implementing it, that will allow me to add multiple tags to photos, and then tagging all digital photos
- scanning photos/ work with negatives - to make old photos digital - incorporate into existing photo organization system
- Cleaning out my e-mail boxes; reading all kept mail, deciding what can be discarded
- Researching my online presence - get rid of logins, etc I don't use, making sure I present the image online that I want
- Remake crushedmuffin.com
- Organize my papers - enter things I want to keep to my computer, and recycle the paper
- Organize my computer files, purge things I don't need, organize my "keep" items
- Go through / organize papers from school and my old journals - decide what to do with physical items
- Post to sell items - series of manga on e-bay; individual issues and books on Half.com / make sure current half listings are accurate
Well, those are the ones dancing closest to the surface of my thoughts, so that is a good preliminary list, at least. If I give each one a month, that is almost a year's worth, anyway.
| Date: | 2009-12-18 15:46 |
| Subject: | Shoes |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  here |
I need new shoes. I have needed new shoes for a while, but I have finally come to the point where I am desperate. I hate shoe shopping.
Right now my collection consists of:
- Nice black flats (my Dress Shoes) - purchased to replace my black heels (1") that I'd had since high school - worn only on special occasions, and with pantyhose
- Work flats - black - purchased originally to have slip-on shoes for plane travel; defaulted to replace my work-shoes - unfortunately these are a little snug, and don't fit with most of my socks. If I wear them and stand all day, or wear them more than a day in a row, they make the bottom of my heels hurt
- Sandals - nice, but not appropriate for the cold weather
- Walking Shoes - sturdy, used to work out, but not good for cold or damp weather, as most of the toe area is mesh
- Defunct work shoes - old, scuffed, and growing uncomfortable - I didn't get rid of these when I got the work flats b/c these fit with more of my socks. Beyond time to retire them, sadly
- Hiking boots- dusty from construction - sitting in my garage waiting to be cleaned
- slippers - for when the house is cold
I recently had to discard the following pairs of shoes:
- Converse- I'd worn through the padding on the heels, and destroyed some socks trying to wear these shoes
- My black heel-boots - the faux leather on these started cracking - another pair I've had since high school
- 2nd pair of slippers - unpleasant incident with a sick cat
- Blue/Green plaid Doc Martins - These were uncomfortable for me, but in good shape so I was considering selling them, but they met the same unfortunate fate as that second pair of slippers. Out they went
I want a more comfortable pair of work shoes, that fit with the socks I wear, and that I can wear more than one day in a row, and a pair of sneakers or other close-toed shoes that also work well in cold or rainy weather. I suppose I can make do with my hiking boots, but I feel weird wearing those to work, whereas if I get a good pair of sneakers, I can wear those.
My sister has graciously offered to come shoe shopping with me this weekend, though I dread going out in the holiday shopping crowd, I'm forced to admit it is well beyond time, and console myself that maybe I'll find a good sale. *sigh*
| Date: | 2009-12-17 22:44 |
| Subject: | Distracted |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  grumpy |
I am at a difficult part of my story. I no longer have the momentum of NaNo WriMo to push me, and I've hit that part of my story where I feel like I'm lagging behind. I don't find my characters interesting any more. I know a few things I want to happen in the plot to wrap things up, but I can't seem to get to to the action. In speaking with one of my online writing buddies last week, who asked the goals / aspirations of my main character - so I could apply / thwart those to move the story forward, I realized I set into the venture of this story without discovering my MCs goals.
So I'm stuck giving accounts of things I'm pretty sure won't make the final cut if I ever edit this piece. And when I finally got started, wrote at goo 1500 words, one of my characters started acting out of character, and I had to stop. Trying to fix the scene, I feel stuck - I take any excuse to not keep on now that the going has gotten tough, and I know in my heart I just need to press on through, but I don't have any sort of external motivation - just distractions, pretty, shiny, and in some cases warm and full of love (and purrs). And I let myself be distracted. Happily. Because I don't know what my characters are doing anymore. Unfortunately, neither do they.
Well, the contractors finished their part of the bathroom renovations. The shower is in, with a new, clear-glass shower door, and pretty green and tan accent tiles. And we have a fan now, too. :-)
Once they cleared out, Toby set in with the leveling comp>>> [ WARNING ::: DATABASE ERROR ::: CONTENT OVERRIDE ::: SOURCE: EXTERNAL ] <<<
> source terminal location: UNKNOWN
> source terminal identity: UNAVAILABLE
> source login information: ENCRYPTED
> message begins
the post you are now reading is designed to dull your senses to THE TRUTH. do not live the life of the worker bee, the cog, the well-oiled piston in the MACHINE OF DECEIT!
there is a grand CONSPIRACY afoot. you have been taught to believe that you are UNIQUE, one of a kind. THIS IS NOT TRUE. long ago, a cabal of scientists created technologies to ensure that ANYONE'S MIND AND BODY can be duplicated.
human cloning isn't NEAR. it's already HERE. discover the truth at http://JCHutchins.net
you are being DECEIVED. break free from the cogs, flee the hive, become A PROPHET OF THE TRUTH!
kilroy2. was here ... kilroy2.0 is everywhere
>>> [ CONTENT OVERRIDE CEASES ::: DATABASE STATUS: RECOVERING ] <<< color called Oregano Spice. If I get a chance, I'll try to finish that before the weekend, so we can tile. I hope to get all this done by November, of course, so I can focus on NaNo WriMo. Wish me luck.
Well, I was a *tad* optimistic about getting the floors done last Tuesday. We did get them finished, however, though some little filler pieces went in after we got wood glue on Saturday. Over the week and weekend we finished the bedroom. This included cutting, painting and installing the quarter-round I bought on Thursday. Some tricky cuts for the last few boards lingered, but were finally done by Toby on Friday and Saturday. I can't even imagine trying to make those last four boards fit in place, yet somehow, like magic, they did.
With some help from my sister, the quarter-round was painted, and caulking done along the tops of the baseboards, where they met the wall, and along some of the door jambs and trim, to clean up small gaps. Touch-up painting along the ceiling, along the baseboards and door trim, and in spaces where we had put wood-putty over the nail holes in both.
I am pleased to say that we mostly finished the bedroom this weekend. Yesterday we dusted the bed-frame, and reassembled it in the bedroom, moving the mattress and the "box spring" (in quotes because, as owners of sleep number beds will know, it is neither a box, nor does it contain springs) back in, and taking the opportunity to wash the sheets and quilt.
Not all the furniture has made it's way through the dusting process, and back into the room, but enough to sleep there last night, which was nice.
Tonight or tomorrow we will make a run to Home Depot and buy some new shelves for the closet. The original idea was to reattach the plastic-coated wire shelves, once they were cleaned, and basically just restore our closet, but in a different color. But cleaning the wire shelves ended up being a trying task - and once I had cleaned the first, all the little rungs and what-not, I discovered that it was slightly whiter, but no less sticky. We realized the plastic on them was deteriorating, and that no matter how much we cleaned them, it would never be to our (my) satisfaction with regards to non-sticky. So we're re-doing the closet with laminate shelves, a la Closet Maid.
So tonight I will work on recovering the rest of the house from where things have spilled over from the bedroom - and perhaps look for things to purge, rather than blindly moving them back in to the room. Once we can move the hanging items back in, we'll be able to fully function out of the bedroom again. Until we start tearing up the bathroom, for the second round of renovations. Fun stuff, we get to learn about drywall and everything.
| Date: | 2009-08-17 16:51 |
| Subject: | Progress! |
| Security: | Public |
I am fortunate that my job consists of a variety of different task requiring different amounts of mental energy. I was exhausted today from the weekend, and was able to slip into some of the less mentally grueling work, and them morning slipped by as I puttered away. This is opposite of last week, where I was tackling some of the more brainy kind of stuff, I think in contrast to the physical labor I was doing at home with the (forced) bedroom renovations.
For some reason I found the work this weekend left me more mentally exhausted, maybe in an increase of physical exhaustion, my brain was slowing down. I took a break on Saturday and saw Julie & Julia with Allyson and Alison. I enjoyed the movie, but was moody about working after that. Called it an early evening on Saturday (stopping at a modest 10:30 pm).
Sunday I got up and started reading submitted stories for my writers group. In the end I decided to not go to the meet-up, but I did pop in (I was dropping off another member from the group) to let them know I will be at the workshop on Tuesday. I owe two of the members their critiques via e-mail, and hope to get those sent out tonight.
As for progress on the room...
We finished painting the bedroom and closet – both got a total of two full coats and touch-ups. Toby cut the baseboards, complete with coping the edges so they look nice in the corners, and Anne and I painted them.
We finished the door frames, primed and painted, and removed the doors. Toby cut the new door trim, and I painted it. Our neighbor, Duncan, came over bearing tools, and helped Toby install the door trim. I pulled up the carpet in the bedroom, and the carpet pad (and man, you could really see the water stains from the underside of the carpet. Definitely glad we were getting rid of it) and set to work on the strips of carpet tack around the edges of the room. Anne helped remove the stray nails, then she and Toby and I started installing the baseboards.
Not wanting to haul he heavy carpet through a winding house, Anne and I removed the screen from one of the windows in the bedroom, and chucked the carpet pad and carpet out onto the concrete. Today we get to move it, the baseboards, and the old toilet to the curb for pickup tomorrow.
Duncan came over again yesterday, and he and Alison helped us lay the under-floor padding, and then Duncan showed Toby how to measure boards at the end of the walls, and at door jambs and such. He had installed the floor for his house when he moved in, and is full of expertise and has all the tools we need, and is willing to lend them to us. We very much appreciate the help. Alison and I were locking boards in place while Duncan and Toby were making cuts, and we got to an impasse, we needed to move the boxes of floor boards from the closet, pull up the carpet, carpet pad and carpet tacks in there as well.
Toby cut the baseboards for the closet, and discovered that he needs one more. Tonight I’ll paint the cut baseboards, and see what other stuff I can do while they dry. If all goes well, we should have the floor complete by Tuesday, with just the quarter-round to install, and some touch-up work on the baseboards and door trim to complete – to cover the spot where the nails are. Then we get to start the process of moving back into our bedroom, and that is the most exciting part of all :-)
Even before we knew if our insurance claim was going to cover the replacement of the carpet in the bedroom and closet, we knew that we weren't comfortable keeping the carpet - afraid for mold, and water retained in the carpet pad.
When we heard back from the claim adjuster that we could go ahead and begin the renovations (just taking pictures of the "before" before we began), we started making many trips to Home Depot.
We picked out a floor we wanted - Engineered Bamboo wood flooring. With that goes a noise-reducing, water resistant, pad that sits between the floor and the underlying cement. Luckily we know two people locally who have replaced their floors for wood and/or wood laminate, so we have access to their advice and equipment. We had also been planning to (eventually) change the color of our bedroom. Since we were going to have to repaint spots on the wall anyway, we decided to go ahead and do it now.
Monday I moved most of the furniture that was still in the room (the stuff on the wall on the far-side of the room from the bathroom door) out. I also took down all the wall decorations and removed everything from the closets, including the wire Closet Maid shelves. Old baseboards and door frames went out on Tuesday night, and I set to spackling the trouble spots on the walls, and putting up painter's tape.
Wednesday we moved the bed into the center of the room, draped a tarp over it, and I applied the put on the first coat of paint - we went from an off-white color called "Candlewax" to a rich red which has "cherry" somewhere in the name. The first coat was very variant in the shade. Splotchy, even. I painted all the walls in the bedroom, leaving only the window frames and the closet. And painting without regard for the carpet, which is being ripped up soon, was kind of liberating.
We've picked out a baseboard, but haven't bought it yet. The bamboo flooring is sitting in boxes at the foot of the bed (and under the tarp). Tonight (Thursday) while I was painting the closet, and applying the second coat to the bedroom walls, Toby went back to Home Depot. He picked up new door borders (primed pine), white paint for the baseboards (which we still have yet to buy), primer (for the inside of the door frames) and sandpaper. As I write this he is sanding the inside of the door frames, and applying primer.
Our goal is to be done with the bedroom by this weekend, and here is what is left on the table:
buy baseboards
second coat of paint in closet
finish priming inside of door frames
paint inside of door frames
remove rest of furniture from bedroom
remove carpet from bedroom
Use empty bedroom floor (with tarp) as area to paint door-borders and baseboards
Attach door borders
Attach baseboards
Lay down the under-floor mat
Install bamboo click-lock floor
I guess the final step is to begin moving things back into the bedroom, but we haven't really gotten that far in planning ahead. After the bedroom is done, however, we are going to start with the bathroom. Even though the plumber came back on Wednesday and installed a new toilet, it was the "basic white toilet" - not what we would have picked -I think we want something even more water efficient - plus this toilet doesn't sit well as the base is a different shape than the previous one, and it overlaps the flooring. But that's okay, because the plan is to strip the bathroom down to the studs in the wall, and rebuild it.
Ideas are still floating for that project - we've decided that it's going to stay a shower, and not install a bathtub, but only because the drain is in the center of the shower, and going to a bathtub would have us digging into the foundation of the house. We get to learn how to install drywall, pick how we want the shower, pick a toilet and vanity, new floor, mirror, light fixture - the works. But that is a little while off- we want to finish the bedroom first, so we can get back off the sofa bed (we didn't want to be in the room with paint fumes), and get some semblance of normal back to our lives.
The day after the flooding, Toby stayed home. Baxter National, a company selected by our Insurance Company, came with equipment.
They pulled up baseboards, drilled holes in the drywall under where the baseboards had been removed, and lifted up the carpet in two spots, one in the corner of the bedroom, the other in the corner of the closet. They set up 2 blowers in the garage, pointed at the damp drywall, one(two?) in the bathroom, one in the closet so it pointed under the carpet, another feeding under the carpet in the bedroom, a few more in the bedroom pointed at the walls, and a large dehumidifier which drained directly into our shower in the master bathroom.
Apparently they tripped the circuit breaker a few times, and ended up having to run the cord from one of the blowers into the living room. I discovered just how tenuous this was when I tried to iron, and ended up tripping the circuit for the living room. But our iron already causes the lights to dim in there even when there are no blowers running.
The guy also put down an anti-microbial, designed to keep mold from growing. After letting that sit for 2 hours behind closed doors, to keep the cats off, we were to open the door to the bedroom so the circulation would be better / aid the drying process.
Let me just say that 7/8 blowers and a dehumidifier of that size are not quiet. We stayed on the fold-out sofa again.
Fast-forward to Thursday - The guy from Baxter National came back, and left a few blowers and the dehumidifier. One blower in the garage at a still-damp spot, and one pointed at newly drilled holes in the bottom of the vanity in the bathroom. The plumber also came by on Thursday, and looked at the toilet, saw that it needed to be replaced, and left with a promise to come back and replace it. Our insurance claims adjuster also came by to assess the damage. He saw damage on the walls, the carpet, the dresser and a bookcase we'd had in the closet. All in all we were granted $3k for the repairs, plus whatever the charges from Baxter National end up being. We do have a $1k deductible to meet, but we were prepared for that.
A few phone calls: to the vet to make sure there wasn't anything we needed to worry about with the cats, to the insurance people, to find out if it was okay to start fixing things before we got our estimate (the numbers I mentioned above were received later); and then we decided to (finally) move back into the bedroom. I think we were finally back in there on Sunday night, almost a week after the flood. And yes, there is a big difference between a fold-out sofa bed and a sleep number bed.
At least it wasn't a fire.
We came home Monday, August 3rd, and discovered water on half the floor of our garage. Our first thought was the water heater, situated in the back corner of the garage, next to the washing machine. Toby ran to check if but found it wasn't the culprit. The water, we quickly deduced, was coming from inside the house. We passed through the kitchen (dry) into the bedroom (carpet squishy), and discovered the tank to our toilet had cracked. The pump was working away, trying to fill the tank until the float ball reached the predetermined level, which of course,since all the water was leaking out the back and bottom of the tank, it never did.
Toby turned the water off on the toilet, and Anne and I quickly set about moving things from the floor of my bedroom and closet out into the kitchen/ dining room/ living room area. Toby disappeared while we were doing this, and I found out later that he was looking up our Homeowners Warranty Information and Insurance information, and making calls to both companies to find out what was the next step.
Anne went to Home Depot for us and bought a shop vac/ Wet vac, and I set to drying things that were on the floor, and doing laundry (the hamper was between the bathroom door and the closet door, and has a grid-type bottom. Water started being absorbed by clothes on the bottom of the hamper, and the damp had crept about halfway up the hamper-full by the time we got home. Luggage and shoes went on the back patio to dry, some things got tossed, and I was sad to see 6 books - two manga of mine, 2 borrowed (signed) comic books, and 2 passports, were part of the waterlogged damage.
I ended up trashing two pairs of shoes, and some miscellaneous travel supplies (a travel kit from one of the trains or planes that Toby and I had been on). When the first load of laundry was done, Toby took it over to Alison's to use her dryer (the offer was much appreciated!), and I put in a second load of laundry. Anne arrived with the wet vac, and I put it together, and sent her out to the grocery store to get litter and un-sweet iced tea (for Toby), and a pizza from Little Ceasers. I was vacuuming when she came back with the food. She was unable to get litter because the roof of the supermarket had a leak, and that aisle had flooded.
We used the wet vac for several passes, but we discovered that it only was able to draw up the water that was on the surface, that is, in the carpet. It was the carpet pad, underneath, that was acting like a sponge. We made another pass, with Toby operating the wet vac, dragging it across the floor behind my foot, which I was using to press water out of the carpet pad. We finally gave up, and settled in to the fold-out sofa.
...strike that. Reverse it.
I am beginning to feel overwhelmed again by the things I think I should be doing. Or that I think I want to do. Or, I guess it most accurately boils down to things i COULD do. It is the prioritizing thing that is a hang up right now.
I have many books out from the library, a few I've borrowed from friends, and am in the middle of, and so I decided to read a manga series I own from the beginning, not just the unread issues (the last two in the series). Of course. Well, I just finished those, and am at a loss of which book to pick up (or back up) next.
I have many things I want to do with regard to technology, too. Mostly social networking. I'm trying to figure out what kind of web presence I have. To do some clean-up if I feel it necessary. What kind of person do I portray if someone were to google me? Then there is the website I promised to build for a multi-writers group deal (well, it is my project idea, so I really only promised myself, but I've told other writer's groups to expect it's arrival) - but for that project I have to learn Drupal. One of the books I have from the library is on Drupal. I get to pick it up today. Several of my blogs are in a stagnant state, and I want to remedy that. I'm on twitter and Facebook, but mostly am not participatory on the later, which also sort of makes me sad.
I have obligations as a member of my writing group. I still haven't caught up with reading chapters and stories from when I was on vacation, and then at ALA. Our meet-up is tomorrow, and I'm still very very behind. And in purging the Yahoo account from the people who didn't respond to the "please keep me as a member" e-mail - which I was supposed to do before I left on vacation. And I haven't even posted the two simple writing group etiquette things we came up with at the last meeting. 2 weeks ago. Nor typed the writing advice I received from various writers at ALA to share. Nor figured out how I'm going to handle the "talk to an expert" deal that I also initiated - and promised another local writer's group that I'd keep in the loop.
I still have pictures on my camera that need to be downloaded. I promised to send some of these to people who were in them. And the e-mail contacts I made at ALA, some I left dangling in the middle of a conversation (mostly the people I owe photos). And then there are the vacation photos, which are on my computer, but not organized or named or anything, so I can't share them. And we're going to visit Toby's family this upcoming weekend, and I wanted to load some of these pictures onto one of the digital picture frames, so we can share, since I know they're going to ask.
My house needs to be cleaned. Every time I make progress on my office, it feels like i have to tidy the rest of the house, so random crap gets brought into my office so I can go through it later, when there is more time. And then it just sits there. Laundry, as we all know, is never ending, and one thing that I almost manage to keep up with. Dishes are about the same, actually. So that is two feathers in my cap, at least.
I have things I want to sell, that I haven't taken the initiative as to how to post them online, magazines that I'm subscribed to piling up, unread, NaNo WrIMo to plan, and writing to do. I am making baby steps progress on Divine Madness, second draft, but i really need to sit down and do some word-math - figure out how long I think the book will be, so I know how much i need to write each week to have this draft finished before November.
Somehow, in that last paragraph i thought, "wasn't there more I had on my plate" and was surprised when nothing else "pressing" came to mind. Maybe it isn't all THAT bad, though until I can prioritize it all, I know I'm just going to feel lost.
Oh, yeah, house stuff. Finishing fixing the back patio fan, and stenciling leaves onto the wall in my office. And perhaps getting a futon for the office (/guest room), but that means cleaning up first.
*sigh*
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guilty
uncomfortable
bouncy